Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Childhood wishes and adult dreams


The irony of becoming an adult; wishing you were a child because you have wished your childhood away to be an adult.
I remember wishing I was a grown up, but I can’t remember why it seemed so important. Maybe I felt like I should be the one to decide what time I was to go to bed, not my parents. I don’t know, but I now wish that I was a child and I had the time to enjoy playing outside, playing with toys, etc. I wish I could just spend my time playing, not working, not cleaning, not doing the boring grown up things I do. I don’t like being a grown up, it’s not fun.  
I work daily with teenagers who think they know everything, just like every teenager does. I hate how they act like the world owes them something. I don’t remember acting like that, nor do I remember my friends acting that way. There is no punishment for wrong doings. They believe they are entitled to all the luxuries in their life, their car, their phone, their extra-curricular activities, their parents paying for gas, insurance, etc. I just can’t figure out how they got this way. I mean, I can, but I don’t want to think about it because it is frustrating and saddening at the same time. Why are parents afraid of their children? Why don’t parents work with the education system as opposed to against it? Why don’t parents make time for their children? That is part of the problem; their actions are cries for attention, no matter how they get it. At the district I work at I am appalled at the idea that students are allowed to participate in extra-curricular activities even though their grades are failing. How is that positive? By allowing the students to participate even though their grades are abysmal the administration is showing them that it doesn’t matter if you try or even care about school, you can still play sports. When I was in school you had to maintain a specific GPA to participate and while many of our teams were not fantastic, at least they graduated on time. I’m sure there are students that “slipped through the cracks” because coaches turned the other cheek, but there’s no need to turn the other cheek here, no one cares. The district is considered a failing district, maybe, instead of having the teachers participate in annoying, boring, long “staff development” meetings once a month, maybe there should be repercussions for failing grades/test scores/etc.
I am well aware that “you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”, but at what point do schools and parents realize that they must work together to achieve success? I was blessed enough to have parents that pushed me to do my best, and I am intrinsically motivated to succeed. There is no way to make an individual succeed, but there is no way to promote success in schools when parents don’t feel the need to support the education staff, and vice versa. From what I have witnessed many parents feel that school is their babysitter for 8 hours a day (or more if their child participates in sports). Many parents work, but that is no reason to not contact teachers by email, or a quick phone call to check on the progress of their student. Or better yet, begin a conversation with the child about how school is going, if they have homework, etc. By showing an interest those parents are showing their child that they are important and that the parent cares. When I was in high school my parents would have conversations with me in regard to school and extra-curricular activities on a weekly basis, or sometimes daily. Knowing someone cares in important. I would love to take a poll and compare student grades to parent participation outside of school. How many of the students with good GPA’s have parents that show they care? How many of the students with poor GPA’s have parents that don’t have time for them? Maybe when the time comes for my thesis in graduate school, I can explore this topic.  

Thursday, April 5, 2012

The wedding is getting close....

After making sure that our honeymoon was booked (ya know, priorities), we had money left from our tax return to plan our wedding. I have managed to purchase shoes, his shoes, the decor for the tables (for the most part), some favors for attendants, plates, napkins,cups and that's about it. We still need to pay the other half for our venue, rent a tux for our son, purchase shoes for our son, purchase food for guests, purchase our marriage license, purchasing the remainder of our attendant gifts and have money for eating and souvenirs from our honeymoon. I have an interview for a second job to *hopefully* curtail the costs. I've been as frugal as possible while still trying to stay true to our ideals. I think the part that frustrates me the most is that I had to use a pretty decent chunk of our "budget" to bail my FH out of jail. I know our wedding is a bit difficult w/o the groom, but there was a piece of me that wanted to let him sit in there and consider if he's really all in on this. I've done the majority of the planning/buying/budgeting and I feel like he's just along for the ride. I've told him that he is responsible for feeding our guests. He started to complain and I looked at him and asked if he'd rather have food duty or take care of EVERYTHING else. I said he was good with food. That was 2 months ago. Nothing has been done. I'm afraid we're going to have some very hungry guests. I'm perfectly fine with going to the justice of the peace and getting it done quick. The "big wedding" is all for him and what he wants, yet I'm stuck doing all the darn leg work. Some days I just want to throw in the towel.
Please don't think that I am making a huge mistake by marrying him. I love him so very much. I have been married before, so I see the pomp and circumstance as nothing more than wasted money. It's an issue I have within myself and I'm working to make this event memorable for both of us while keeping the carbon footprint, and cost as small as possible.There are many ways that we are two peas in a pod. We have many likes and dislikes that are similar. I think my focus is more on how our life will be after the wedding than the wedding itself. I'd love to say that we could scale back the wedding, but honestly I have no idea how to make it any smaller than it already is.
We are making our own confetti,bouquet, and boutonnieres. Our cakes are a wedding gift, as is the photography.  My MOH is purchasing the services of a "day-of" wedding planner, which will be really helpful. Our table decorations are activity books for everyone to enjoy, toys for children to play with, pens/pencils/crayons, etc. I feel that our wedding is minimal, especially in comparison to weddings I have seen on here and weddings that are considered traditional. I just want someone to say the magic words that bind us together "until death do us part".
I've totally gone on a rant here, sorry. I'll get back on target.
It would be nice to win a free wedding. But I want our day to be special, wonderful and worry free so I am taking on a part time job on top of my full time job. I am doing it to make our wedding, my bachelorette party (girl trip to Chicago!) and honeymoon (Seattle baby!) the most wonderful time we can. I just hope that I don't wear myself out while doing all this work.